Prayers for a member of our family

We got a call this morning telling us that there was a fire last night and Matt's Uncle's house burned down. Thank God that he, his wife and their two daughters (12 and 15) made it out, but they've pretty much lost everything from the sound of it. I can't imagine what they are going through. I mean...I've known people this happened too before. We even had a family stay with us for a while when I was growing up because their house burned. They had been our neighbors and close friends of the family for a long time. I've never been there myself though. Unfortunately Matt and his parents have been so this is also bringing back tons of memories for my MIL I am sure.

I am considering walking over to see if there is anything I can do to help but I am not sure if I should. I hadn't written about it here yet because we haven't told anyone in the family, but I'm pregnant. It's not looking good though. I am praying that everything turns out well, but also preparing myself for the likelihood that I am about to experience yet another loss. While I really want to help Matt's Uncle and family see if we can save anything, at the same time, I am not sure walking across town and digging through a burned out house is in my best interest.

If I do lose this baby Matt is going to blame himself. We had sex last night and he was worried about it but I assured him it is perfectly fine to have sex during pregnancy. Now this morning I had some spotting and my FRER was negative this morning. The test from the $ store still had a line, but it's so faint I could barely see it. I'm really nauseous this morning too, but is that morning sickness, nerves because of the test this morning or somthing else entirely? I don't know what to think anymore. I'm just numb.

I can't help but wonder why this keeps happening. I almost feel like I must have done something wrong. Why else would I have 5 and now possible 6 losses in a row? I don't know what to do. I want a baby so badly, but I can't do this again. I can't afford all the tests and treatments that the RE wants to do.